Twat of the Month Award

When I was back in Canada my Dad asked me what had happened to "Twat of the Day", a feature on my blog a long long time ago. I'd totally forgotten about it, and don't even think it became a regular thing, but apparently he'd enjoyed it. I think he just got a kick out of saying the word "twat", but it made me think about reviving it.

There just aren't enough twats out there, thankfully, to go back to "Twat of the Day", so let's make it a monthly thing. I'll start retroactively with May, when my Dad brought it up.

Twat of the Month Award: May

The lady who sat beside me on my flight from Tokyo to Toronto. She wasn't even really beside me- I was lucky enough to get an empty seat beside me, and she was on the other side of the seat. At first I was happy about that, and about the friendly lady admiring my baby. But she turned out to be a talker, and I don't mean a run-of-the-mill Chatty-Cathy kind of talker, I mean a blab-the-entire-twelve-hour-flight-even-when-I-was-wearing-earphones-or-eating-or-consoling-a-fussy-baby talker. She was also a grabber, and she'd keep reaching over across the empty seat and grabbing my arm to get my attention or emphasize an important point. Worst, she a born-again Christian bent on converting me. The fussing over Shuma wasn't of the "Oh he's so cute, let me hold him while you go the the bathroom/eat/relax" kind that I was hoping for, but more of an opening for her to talk about God and Jesus and my son's soul getting into heaven (and other fairy tales). And also complain about how she's never met her grandkids and how her daughter won't visit her. Gee, I wonder why. Twat.

Twat of the Month Award: June

The mom at a drop-in play center who asked me how old Shuma is then said "Oh he's really small for eight months" and went off to chase down her bald toddler, thus ending the conversation ("Yeah, at least he has HAIR" I wanted to say). Not that it bothered me, but how rude. Twat.

Twat of the Month Award: July

The man who walked by me and Shuma as we were settling into our seats on the plane that would take us home to Tokyo. He looked at me and the perfectly quiet, calm baby strapped to my chest and said "Whoa. Glad I'm not sitting in THIS section!" It turns out that Shuma was so well-behaved that a few people complimented me on what a good baby he was, and when we'd landed a flight attendant made a point of telling me I'm lucky to have such an angel. I doubt that jerk noticed though. Twat.

 

Twat of the Month Award: August

The dad at the hundred yen shop the other day. He was walking around and with one hand was sending a text on his phone, and with the other he was very casually holding his newborn baby (maybe two months?) with its head lolling backwards off of his elbow. Holy crap, doesn't every parent know you're supposed to support the baby's head? I hate to get all judgey on other parents, but that's not cool. Support your baby's head and neck, and if you're going to hold your baby while walking around in public where any idiot can bump into you, use both hands and keep your damn phone in your pocket. Twat.

Comments

[Marie Riegert]

woah, that July guy deserves a totally different expletive IMO, but I'm far too polite to write it here

[kat]

agree with Marie on July...

[Anna M]

Love this! And love all the Shuma posts --- every time I see a picture of him my bio clock's alarm goes off demanding a lookalike, though I'm the Asian and my husband's the Canadian :)

[Erica @ expatriababy]

This post just made me subscribe. Hilar.